Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
H. L. Mencken

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Doug Larson

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.
Jean Rostand

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.
Paul Hornung

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.
Benjamin Disraeli

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H. L. Mencken

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.
Emma Goldman

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Judith Viorst

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.
Honore de Balzac

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.
Joseph Joubert

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
H. L. Mencken

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Brendan Behan

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
Peter De Vries

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
Peter De Vries