If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
Mel Brooks

I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.
Mel Brooks

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
Mel Brooks

Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers.
Mel Brooks

Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

We rest our case on the production numbers.
Mel Brooks

I only direct in self-defense.
Mel Brooks