Henny Youngman Quotes
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
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Author Details:
Type:
Comedian Quotes
Category:
American Comedian Quotes
Date of Birth:
March 16, 1906
Date of Death:
February 24, 1998
Nationality:
American
Amazon:
Henny Youngman on Amazon
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Related Authors:
George Carlin
Bill Cosby
Groucho Marx
Steven Wright
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Rodney Dangerfield
Jack Benny
Steve Martin
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Select Henny Youngman Quotations:
Take my wife... Please!
Henny Youngman
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
Henny Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny Youngman
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
Henny Youngman
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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Quote Keywords:

Car,
Does,
Get,
Gift,
His,
How,
Into,
Know,
Man,
Out,
Pay,
Puts,
Rid,
Taken,
Trash,
Unlocked,
Wraps
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Dictionary Links:

Car,
Does,
Get,
Gift,
His,
How,
Into,
Know,
Man,
Out,
Pay,
Rid,
Taken,
Trash
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All Henny Youngman Quotations:
A doctor gave a man six...
A Jewish woman had two chickens...
A self-taught man usually has...
Do you know what it means...
How to drive a guy crazy...
I know a man who doesn't...
I once wanted to become an...
I played a great horse yesterday...
I played a lot of tough...
I take my wife everywhere, but...
I told the doctor I broke...
I've been in love with the...
I've got all the money I'll...
If at first you don't succeed...
If my mother knew I did...
If you had your life to...
If you're going to do something...
Just got back from a pleasure...
My brother was a lifeguard in...
My dad was the town drunk...
My grandmother is over eighty and...
My other brother-in-law died...
My son complains about headaches. I...
My wife dresses to kill. She...
She has a wash and wear...
She's a big-hearted girl with...
She's been married so many times...
Some people ask the secret of...
Take my wife... Please!
That was the first time I...
The horse I bet on was...
The secret of a happy marriage...
There was a girl knocking on...
This is an elegant hotel! Room...
This man is frank and earnest...
This man used to go to...
Those two are a fastidious couple...
What's the use of happiness? It...
When God sneezed, I didn't know...
When I read about the evils...
When I told my doctor I...
While playing golf today I hit...
Why do Jewish divorces cost so...
Why do Jewish men die before...
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes...
You can't buy love, but you...
You have a nice personality, but...
You have a ready wit. Tell...
You look like a talent scout...
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