The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
Fred Allen

Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen