Santa Quotes

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin

Live, Bad, Reason

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.
Richard Lamm

Time, Christmas, Government

Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?
Jon Bon Jovi

Love, Dreams, Yourself

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright

Tired, Weather, Missing

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy, Same, Put

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.
Gary Allan

Naughty, Save, Trip

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Dick Gregory

Dark, After, Knew

Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Samuel Butler

Nobody, Claus, Shoots

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge

Once, Idea, Year

We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level.
Karen Armstrong

Change, Time, God

There's one Baldessari work I genuinely love and would like to own, maybe because of my Midwestern roots and love of driving alone. 'The backs of all the trucks passed while driving from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara, California, Sunday, 20 January 1963' consists of a grid of 32 small color photographs depicting just what the title says.
Jerry Saltz

Love, Work, Alone

Work takes me away from my wife, Sue, and my life in Santa Barbara.
Jeff Bridges

Life, Work, Wife

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple

Mother, Him, Believing

Santa Barbara is my hood. I mean, it's not much of a hood, but it is definitely like my hood. I claim Santa Barbara like I claim my family. I'm going to be married and buried there.
Katy Perry

Family, Mean, Married

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.
Herbert Hoover

Good, Dark, Around

Growing up in northern California has had a big influence on my love and respect for the outdoors. When I lived in Oakland, we would think nothing of driving to Half Moon Bay and Santa Cruz one day and then driving to the foothills of the Sierras the next day.
Tom Hanks

Love, Respect, Nothing

Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.
Patti Smith

God, Help, Everyone

Santa is our culture's only mythic figure truly believed in by a large percentage of the population. It's a fact that most of the true believers are under eight years old, and that's a pity.
Chris Van Allsburg

True, Old, Fact

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.
Julia Sweeney

Family, Strange, Face

Santa Barbara is a paradise; Disneyland is a paradise; the U.S. is a paradise. Paradise is just paradise. Mournful, monotonous, and superficial though it may be, it is paradise. There is no other.
Jean Baudrillard

May, Though, Paradise

I split my time between Santa Barbara and Aspen. I live on a pretty fast horse.
Kevin Costner

Time, Live, Pretty

I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in some touchy-feely quarters, that all women are, or can be, beautiful.
Julie Burchill

Women, Easter, Beautiful

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want - and their kids pay for it.
Richard Lamm

Time, Christmas, Government

I think we have to believe in things we don't see. That's really important for all of us, whether it's your religion or Santa Claus, or whatever. That's pretty much what it's about.
James Caan

Religion, Important, Pretty

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.
Trey Parker

Person, Same, Claus

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus.
Joe Nichols

Time, Heard, Ten

No, there are some location shoots in Vegas, maybe four trips a year. It's shot in Santa Clarita, CA.
George Eads

Year, Maybe, Four

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
Jimmy Fallon

Help, Year, North

For the past two years, President Obama has promised our children the moon, stars, rainbows, unicorns and universal health care for all. But the White House Santa's cradle-to-grave entitlement mandates are a spectacularly predictable bust.
Michelle Malkin

Health, Care, Past

My parents moved to American Samoa when I was three or four years old. My dad was principal of a high school there. It was idyllic for a kid. I had a whole island for a backyard. I lived there until I was eight years old and we moved to Santa Barbara.
Eric Stoltz

Dad, School, Parents

Share with your Friends

Everyone likes a good quote - don't forget to share.

Booker T. Washington

Popular Topics

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Get Social with BrainyQuote

BrainyQuote Desktop

BrainyQuote Mobile

Site

Quote of the Day

Social

BQ on Pinterest

Syndication

Funny Quote Feed

Love Quote Feed

Nature Quote Feed

About Us