A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.
Jerome Lawrence

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams

And hey-the psychiatrist in the show is Italian also. So people are going to focus on what they want to focus on. There's not much you can do about that.
Edie Falco

Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Samuel Goldwyn

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married - the other half because they're not.
Arnold H. Glasgow

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
Tammy Faye Bakker

I called the doctor, during writing the book, the psychiatrist who treated me at that time, Dr. Jackson. And I said, Dr. Jackson, whole pieces are missing. I don't understand what happened to me.
Jim Bakker

I did LSD in the hospital, never on my own. I did it in a controlled environment to try to find things out about myself. A psychiatrist told me I should take some LSD trips.
Andy Williams

I don't need a psychiatrist. I'm Catholic.
Dorothy Kilgallen

I myself spent nine years in an insane asylum and I never had the obsession of suicide, but I know that each conversation with a psychiatrist, every morning at the time of his visit, made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat.
Antonin Artaud

I read a book recently by a psychiatrist who was able to interview a few serial killers and she had a thesis on how you could figure these people out. And she thinks that there are things that could tell you whether someone has the potential to do that.
Tom Araya

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

If I had my way everyone would have a psychiatrist. When the brain is sick and you must throw up, you do it by being purged in a psychiatrist's office.
Hedy Lamarr

If the nineteenth century was the age of the editorial chair, ours is the century of the psychiatrist's couch.
Marshall McLuhan

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield

No, originally I thought that writing articles would keep me from having to see a psychiatrist, but I became even more depressed as a result.
Theo Van Gogh

Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist - whatever.
Les Paul

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom.
Muriel Spark

Some directors expect you to do everything; write, be producer, psychiatrist. Some just want you to die in a tragic accident during the shooting so they can get the insurance.
John Malkovich