Jokes Quotes

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton

Dumb, Blonde, Offended

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers

Government, Facts, Watch

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost

Great, Forgive, Big

In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons.
Will Smith

Life, Real, Black

Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has.
Will Smith

Work, Character, Energy

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg

Together, Whole, Once

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White

Done, Throw, Album

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot

Great, Difference, Taste

I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
Tim Duncan

Smile, May, Different

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy

Funny, Best, Thinking

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot

Great, Different, Taste

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Washington Irving

Humor, Good, Laughter

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton

Heart, Why, Big

I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
Steve Martin

Laughter, Real, Laugh

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
Thomas Aquinas

Time, Mind, Deeds

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

Work, Good, Serious

I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.
Alice Walker

Power, American, Sure

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
Paula Deen

Funny, Care, Laugh

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
Laurence Sterne

Ten, Acquire, Hundred

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
Zac Efron

Girl, Bad, Start

I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
Tahar Ben Jelloun

Life, Love, Friendship

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.
Tom Stoppard

Age, Long, Remember

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
Demetri Martin

Love, Short, Ideas

You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.
Terry Pratchett

Hurt, Stupid, Betrayal

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
Robert Collier

Humor, Reality, Thought

My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
Emo Philips

Head, Safe, Copy

I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir

Humor, Solitude, Gentle

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J. R. R. Tolkien

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