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It's the game of life. Do I win or do I lose? One day they're gonna shut the game down. I gotta have as much fun and go around the board as many times as I can before it's my turn to leave.
Tupac Shakur
Life
,
Fun
,
Game
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Mitch Hedberg
Business
,
Fire
,
Said
You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
Hunter S. Thompson
Care
,
Lord
,
Hands
Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded.
Jimi Hendrix
Hate
,
Give
,
Guitar
I'm gonna put a curse on you and all your kids will be born completely naked.
Jimi Hendrix
Put
,
Kids
,
Born
All I'm gonna do is just go on and do what I feel.
Jimi Hendrix
We all gonna die, we bleed from similar veins.
Tupac Shakur
Die
,
Bleed
,
Veins
White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high.
Jimi Hendrix
Down
,
Die
,
High
I actually thought that it would be a little confusing during the same period of your life to be in one meeting when you're trying to make money, and then go to another meeting where you're giving it away. I mean is it gonna erode your ability, you know, to make money? Are you gonna somehow get confused about what you're trying to do?
Bill Gates
Life
,
Money
,
Mean
When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.
Mike Tyson
Men
,
Crazy
,
Him
People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I'm gonna hang onto them and they're gonna fuel my attack.
Charlie Sheen
Work
,
Attack
,
Yeah
When we go to play, you flip around and flash around and everything, and then they're not gonna see nothin' but what their eyes see. Forget about their ears.
Jimi Hendrix
Forget
,
Everything
,
Eyes
I'm gonna live till I die.
Frank Sinatra
Live
,
Die
,
Till
When I played God Bless The Queen, I was wondering if they was gonna dig us, then quite naturally I'd go on and try to get it together.
Jimi Hendrix
God
,
Together
,
Try
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Mitch Hedberg
Time
,
Someone
,
Else
There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.
Gertrude Stein
Answer
If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.
Yogi Berra
Stop
,
Nobody
,
Ball
I would put our legislative and foreign policy accomplishments in our first two years against any president - with the possible exceptions of Johnson, FDR, and Lincoln - just in terms of what we've gotten done in modern history. But, you know, but when it comes to the economy, we've got a lot more work to do. And we're gonna keep on at it.
Barack Obama
Work
,
History
,
Done
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg
Words
,
Last
,
Joke
We're still in a recession. We're not gonna be out of it for a while, but we will get out.
Warren Buffett
While
,
Recession
It's hard to do it because you gotta look people in the eye and tell 'em they're irresponsible and lazy. And who's gonna wanna do that? Because that's what poverty is, ladies and gentlemen. In this country, you can succeed if you get educated and work hard. Period. Period.
Bill O'Reilly
Work
,
Hard
,
Lazy
Don't ever know who you may meet, or just because a person may not be dressed up all fancy, don't mean they're not an important person. You just don't ever know who you're gonna meet in life. So that's why I look at everybody as equal. Can't just judge. I treat everybody with respect. Every man.
Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Life
,
Respect
,
Judge
The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White
Thought
,
America
,
Team
I don't take nothin' from no one. I do what I wanna do. And I'm gonna do that until the day I die. And if I can't do that, then I'll just die.
Lil Wayne
Die
,
Until
,
Wanna
Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority.
Jim Carrey
Work
,
Time
,
Good
Of course, I think that people are just waiting for that time when I make a mistake and they're gonna jump on it.... There's gonna be haters.
Justin Bieber
Time
,
Waiting
,
Haters
I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her.
Jim Carrey
Girl
,
Before
,
Try
How can people be so stupid? I marvel at that. See, I think you have to work as being ignorant - and if you're gonna work at being ignorant, why not work at being informed?
Rush Limbaugh
Work
,
Stupid
,
Why
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
Bill Hicks
Revolution
,
Next
,
Ideas
You can't be afraid to fail. It's the only way you succeed - you're not gonna succeed all the time, and I know that.
LeBron James
Time
,
Afraid
,
Succeed
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