Drunk Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill

Morning, May, Ugly

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Said, Keep, Sober

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway

Time, Sometimes, Spend

I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
Winston Churchill

Contempt, Brought, Trained

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Charlie Chaplin

Character, True

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
Shirley MacLaine

Love, Person, While

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
Johnny Depp

Laugh, Old, Kids

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
Charles Darwin

Men, After, Again

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg

Rabbits, Carrots

Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
Isaac Asimov

Night, After, Though

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

Lie, Holding, Floor

It is time to get drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk; get drunk without stopping! On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.
Charles Baudelaire

Time, Poetry, Wish

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Ray Bradbury

Reality, Writing, Cannot

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns

Remember, Trouble, Drink

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Lord Byron

Life, Best, Reasonable

'My country, right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.'
Gilbert K. Chesterton

Mother, Saying, Country

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
P. J. O'Rourke

Person, Through, Kiss

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Ambrose Bierce

Getting, Excuse, Convenient

I might get drunk one day and fall in love or fall over a hooker outside, and I would have consummated a relationship that I couldn't necessarily believe in.
Oliver Reed

Love, Might, Fall

He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.
Epictetus

Three, Though, Takes

What white man has ever seen me drunk? Who has ever come to me hungry and left me unfed? Who has seen me beat my wives or abuse my children? What law have I broken?
Sitting Bull

Children, Law, Broken

Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales.
Aleister Crowley

Nature, Fighting, Keep

I've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Thought, Might, Week

One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.
Jim Carrey

Work, Power, Hope

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
William Butler Yeats

Men, Worst, Sober

Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.
Vin Scully

Used, Support, Statistics

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
Ozzy Osbourne

Different, Sober, Bus

Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Respect, Simple, Lost

It is the hour to be drunken! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.
Charles Baudelaire

Time, Poetry, Wish

Nobody can write the life of a man but those who have eat and drunk and lived in social intercourse with him.
Samuel Johnson

Life, Him, Write

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James Russell Lowell

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