Stephen Colbert Quotes

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?
Stephen Colbert

Agnostic, Atheist, Balls

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.
Stephen Colbert

Mean, Everything, Country

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'
Stephen Colbert

Truth, Motto, Keep

I can't prove it, but I can say it.
Stephen Colbert

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?
Stephen Colbert

Time, Why, Used

The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
Stephen Colbert

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
Stephen Colbert

Time, Famous, Law

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.
Stephen Colbert

Teacher, School, Girl

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.
Stephen Colbert

Time, Free, Rather

It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.
Stephen Colbert

Everything, Opinion, Everyone

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.
Stephen Colbert

Character, Wonderful

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
Stephen Colbert

Gay, Nothing, Friends

All I can do is today and tomorrow and have some idea of what we're doing next week. That's all I can worry about.
Stephen Colbert

Today, Tomorrow, Worry

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.
Stephen Colbert

Love, Yourself, Serve

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert

Truth, Hard, Hot

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
Stephen Colbert

Heart, Fact, Books

I love being onstage.
Stephen Colbert

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.
Stephen Colbert

Great, Two, Small

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.
Stephen Colbert

Poetry, School, Teenagers

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
Stephen Colbert

Love, News, Junkie

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
Stephen Colbert

Person, Boxing, Worthy

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
Stephen Colbert

Hate, Everyone, Actor

I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.
Stephen Colbert

Laugh, Here, Jokes

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.
Stephen Colbert

Takes, Writer, Minute

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
Stephen Colbert

Order, Million, Dollars

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: May 13, 1964

Links

Find on Amazon: Stephen Colbert

Cite this Page: Citation

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