Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
Johnny Vegas

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.
Johnny Vegas

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
Johnny Vegas

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.
Johnny Vegas

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.
Johnny Vegas

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.
Johnny Vegas

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
Johnny Vegas