Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz

Great, Small, Talk

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Fran Lebowitz

Romantic, Love, Someone

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz

Art, True, Feeling

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz

You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz

Funny, Good, Last

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz

Funny, Food, Diet

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz

Teen, Life, Happy

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz

Peace, Death, Behavior

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz

Democracy, Country, Union

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz

Waiting, Talking, Listening

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Fran Lebowitz

Rainy, Child, Won

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
Fran Lebowitz

Heart, Find, Old

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz

Winning, Done, Play

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz

Hold, Unless, Animal

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz

Life, Real, Stand

My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz

Animal, Favorite, Steak

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz

Child, Ask, Wants

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz

Put, Rather, Wants

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran Lebowitz

God, Beautiful, Children

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
Fran Lebowitz

Wanted, Took, Expanded

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Fran Lebowitz

Smart, Children, Child

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Fran Lebowitz

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
Fran Lebowitz

Thought, Before, Both

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
Fran Lebowitz

Fun, Children, Easy

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz

Life, Good, Book

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Journalist

Born: October 27, 1951

Links

Find on Amazon: Fran Lebowitz

Cite this Page: Citation

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