Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce

Anger, Best, Angry

Quote

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Ambrose Bierce

Happiness, Time, Future

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Ambrose Bierce

God, War, Teaching

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, Love, Insanity

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Ambrose Bierce

Business, Individual, Profit

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Ambrose Bierce

Politics, Public, Advantage

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce

Mom, Mother, Feeling

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
Ambrose Bierce

Art, Weather, Painting

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Ambrose Bierce

Politics, Others, Liberal

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
Ambrose Bierce

History, Soldiers, False

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce

Beauty, Power, Husband

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, Two, Making

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.
Ambrose Bierce

Truth, Doubt, May

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose Bierce

Sports, School, Football

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Ambrose Bierce

Beautiful, Everything, Optimism

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Ambrose Bierce

Beautiful, Two, English

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Ambrose Bierce

Failure, Person, Makes

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Ambrose Bierce

Time, Hours, Period

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
Ambrose Bierce

Truth, Sense, Common

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
Ambrose Bierce

Person, Laziness, Degree

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Ambrose Bierce

Patience, Revenge, Worth

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Ambrose Bierce

Opinion, Belief, Statement

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
Ambrose Bierce

Experience, Wisdom, Old

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
Ambrose Bierce

Art, Human, Thinking

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
Ambrose Bierce

Mind, Woman, Soul

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Journalist

Born: June 24, 1842

Died: 1914

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Cite this Page: Citation

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