Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
Alan Bennett

Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.
Alan Bennett

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.
Alan Bennett

I write plays about things that I can't resolve in my mind. I try to root things out.
Alan Bennett

I'm all in favour of free expression provided it's kept rigidly under control.
Alan Bennett

I've never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none.
Alan Bennett

If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.
Alan Bennett

Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
Alan Bennett

Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
Alan Bennett

My films are about embarrassment.
Alan Bennett

Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else.
Alan Bennett

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.
Alan Bennett

We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.
Alan Bennett

Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?
Alan Bennett

Your whole life is on the other side of the glass. And there is nobody watching.
Alan Bennett