Adam Carolla Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
Adam Carolla

Same, Said, Around

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla

Good, Seen, Ice

My first car was a motorcycle.
Adam Carolla

Car, Motorcycle

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
Adam Carolla

Rich, Else, Everyone

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'
Adam Carolla

Funny, Humor, Fire

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam Carolla

Life, Christmas, Wrong

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
Adam Carolla

Love, Money, Society

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla

Government, Keep, Army

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
Adam Carolla

Everything, Leaving, Vote

Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
Adam Carolla

Stuff, Bed, Difficulty

I am not a good cue card reader.
Adam Carolla

Good, Reader, Card

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
Adam Carolla

Good, Food, Sorry

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
Adam Carolla

Future, Serious, Making

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
Adam Carolla

Success, Age, Business

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
Adam Carolla

Happen, Trying, Burn

I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
Adam Carolla

Thought, Anybody, Ill

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
Adam Carolla

Family, Mom, Emotional

I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.
Adam Carolla

Expect, Appreciate, Realistic

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'
Adam Carolla

Lazy, Vote, Counts

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla

Work, Health, Whatever

I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla

I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.
Adam Carolla

Feeling, Trying, Joke

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.
Adam Carolla

Love, Women, Worked

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
Adam Carolla

Feelings, Two, Why

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Entertainer

Born: May 27, 1964

Links

Find on Amazon: Adam Carolla

Cite this Page: Citation

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